


i do

by fourhorsemen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Husbands, M/M, Marriage, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Married Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 17:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourhorsemen/pseuds/fourhorsemen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dean Winchester is married to an asshole. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	i do

Dean Winchester is married to an asshole.

***

“ _HOLY CRAP IT’S LIKE THE ARCTIC IN HERE, CAS WHAT THE HELL?!”_

“I’m going to be late for work,” Castiel growled through the curtain and Dean jumped from foot to foot and fumbled to turn the shower off because _cold! Cold! Cold!!!_  He shivered uncontrollably and yanked the towel, wrapping it around him tightly. His freaking teeth were chattering.

“And you chose to flush the toilet instead of joining me _in it_ like a _normal_ person?!” Dean shrieked, yanking the curtain back and stumbling out. Huffing for breath, he yanked the towel tighter around him, glaring bloody murder at Cas.

“That would make me even later for work,” Castiel grumbled and started to strip, oh _so_ now he was going to _steal_ Dean’s shower. What the _fuck_.

“You know what. Fuck you, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight,” Dean hissed (through his still chattering teeth) at him and stomped out the door, grabbing his clothes on the way.

He could have sworn he heard Cas grumble “at least I won’t be late for work” as he was walking out.

***

“ _Coffee_ ,” Castiel hissed, fingers at his temples as he walked in through the door.

“Good morning to you too,” Dean snarked, snagging Cas a mug of coffee he had so graciously prepared before the sleepyhead got up and gave him a plate of eggs and bacon to go with it. Castiel grunted and immediately began chugging the coffee like a German at a beer festival. Dean bit his lip to suppress the smile that Castiel’s crazy bedhead was bringing to his lips. He turned back to cook himself some more bacon.

“The bacon is overcooked,” Cas grumbled and Dean made an annoyed, shocked sound in the back of his throat. Wow that was _some_ gratitude. He shot the guy a glare – who was eating the _overcooked_ bacon like a starving man, by the by – and grumbled under his breath.

 _See if I ever bother again_ , he thought.  

***

Cas mouthed at his neck and Dean bit back a moan. God, damn it he was dead on his feet, Cas had the absolute _worst_ timing.

“No, Cas, I- I’m tired, not right now- Cas!” Dean mumbled and yelped when Cas bit down on his neck and sucked on it (which was probably going to become the mother of all hickeys). He raised his hands and shoved weakly at his shoulders. Castiel’s mouth moved up to press at his insistently, Dean made a quiet, weak protesting sound in the back of his throat. Castiel pressed him further into the wall, grunting and then hoisting Dean up the wall like he was still freaking twenty – dude _that hurt_. Of course Cas would come out of a hunt with a killer adrenaline rush and all Dean had was bruises.

“C-cas, come on, _plea-_ ” Cas cut Dean off with a growl and went back to kissing him furiously and Dean went limp in his arms, hooking his legs around the man’s waist with the last dregs of energy he had.

“ _Ihateyou,”_ he gasped and screwed his eyes shut when Cas bit his collarbone.

***

Sometimes, Dean really missed Sam. The whole couple-on-the-road thing? Not working out. He didn’t know how Tamara and her husband did it before he died. 

“It’s a werewolf Cas, there ain’t nothin’ else it can be if it’s chomping hearts,” Dean argued, sighing explosively at Castiel’s stubborn face.

“It is eating more than hearts Dean, that is not exactly a werewolf’s modus operandi,” he said, huffing like the annoying know-it-all ex-angel he was.

“Yeah, well, maybe they’re getting hungrier,” Dean said and made a face when Cas took a breath to launch yet another lengthy argument and then seemed to give up.

“Yes, it is definitely not what the former angel with the far superior range of knowledge says it is,” he said sarcastically and Dean scoffed indignantly.

“Did you just call me stupid?!” Dean squawked and Cas freaking _rolled his eyes_ at him. He got up to throw his takeout container, not sparing Dean a backward glance.

“Hey, let’s ask Sam!” Dean yelled at his back and he didn’t even turn around.

Yeah, he definitely missed Sam.

***

Castiel’s eyes followed the waitress dreamily. Namely, the waitress’s rack. Dean frowned. Yeah, the den of iniquity had been a bad idea. Actually, no the Cas-becoming-human thing had been a bad idea, turns out the whole sin thing is definitely a human thing.

“Hey, hey, hey - Earth to Cas? Remember – you’re _married_ ,” Dean pointed out, waving his hand in Castiel’s face, the light of the diner glinting off his wedding band. Castiel looked at him dismissively.

“Of course, but I believe this is what you call ‘appreciating the eye candy’,” he said succinctly, a little bit of a smirk tilting his mouth as this time he fixed his eyes to the waitress’s ass when she walked back to her station. Dean gaped.

 _What an asshole._   

***

Castiel was also married to an asshole.

Ok so, yeah there was that one time Dean kind of accidentally-not-really kicked Cas out of the bed –literally. The dude got a bruise on his head the size of Texas and Dean didn’t even apologize. 

Then there was the other time Dean put Castiel’s favourite dress shirt – seriously who has a favourite _dress shirt_ – in with his own raunchy red panties (he was versatile) and the shirt ended up a crappy shade of pink. When Dean saw the look on Castiel’s face when he took that shirt out of the wash Dean laughed for like an _hour_ and that probably didn’t gain him any points either.

There was also that other time he spilled coffee all over the research… and the time he spent a whole four hours at the bar ignoring his husband in favour of flirting with the hot bartender. Also the time he kind of maybe got Castiel fired from his other part time job because he came in to visit, fixed Castiel’s always-backward tie and things kind of spiralled from there until they were suddenly having sex in a library.

Yeah, so Dean was an asshole who was happily married to Cas; who was also an asshole.

Guess they were even.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is, where it came from and how it turned out like this but I wrote it anyway. #yolo.


End file.
